Monday, March 4, 2013
This weekend we will be selling the majority of what remains "ours." We are still praying for the house to sell, but we would really love to not have showings this week/weekend! Pray with us! So, reality check: we are within 2 months of leaving home. Excitement is building, and our kids can hardly stand it! Another family in our church played a video from Haiti Sunday, and Kayla was fighting so hard to not totally lose it. She misses those beautiful faces in Haiti! Even Isaac (4 years old) is excited for all the things he will get rid of so we can pack and move. In his mind, timing is so strange...why we have to wait so long makes no sense to him. His only concern is that he doesn't know all the kids' names yet. God gave him a gift of speech and remembering names, so I do not imagine it will take him long to figure it out. As the excitement builds, we are also realizing how short our time is with friends and family. So much changes in 6 months - which is how long we anticipate it taking before we see everyone again. I find that I am often fighting tears....and my stress has escalated. Sometimes I feel like a crazy woman because my emotions are all over the place, and all so strong. There are the fears and what if's of who we may not see again. There are the financial concerns of continuing to pay bills here while buying things for the move and saving for it. It is a roller coaster to say the least. Through this time, I am trying to remember one thing: Jesus was the first missionary. He left His home to learn our language, share our pain and joy, hug us and cry with us, laugh with us and smile at us...He wanted to know us and for us to know His Father's love for us. So, He knows the struggles that come with becoming a missionary. I trust Him to carry me through it, even when I feel weird calling myself a "missionary." Today, I am just me..whatever title I hold is meaningless. Jesus came to love me and you....and I hope I can show the Father's love wherever I am...even in my craziness of the next 2 months.